Came across this wonderful collection of essays, biographical sketches, poems and anecdotes by various real strong women out there in the world in an anthology of sorts titled: “33 things every girl should know

33 things

There are some gems within, that brought some amazing eye-opening visions into my muddled head and I can only imagine what a source of strength, resilience and hope it can give to a young girl coping with adversities and the realities of the world she grows into. The stories, mostly subtle also drive home a point to ultimately value and treasure the fine young lady that one is within each of the girls, and most importantly to become a sensible level headed human being despite it all. Someone that’s strong yet sensitive to one’s own self while knowing when and how to prioritize the needs and wants at different levels.

33 different stories told by real women, and this one story stuck out to me. An explanation as to why one would behave the way one does, despite the age.

When a 55 year old woman jumps with joy like a 6 year old getting her first pink bike, or when the old man breaks down into tears when he discovers his favorite book isn’t lost after all, or when a teenager plays with her barbies in her closet, or when the grandmother secretly stashes the lollipops that her grandson brings form phoren, or the time when a 35 year old man whines at the sight of a flu.. (oh, okay the last is a flaw more than an attribute to this concept, but we’ll let that slip) … and similar such behaviors.

When we act out of our prescribed age bracket. The occasional random acts or thinking patterns of neoteny that almost all of us exhibit, some brazen enough to not care how they are portrayed to others (like me) and then the large bunch of closet “juvies”.

I like this concept of Sandra Cisneros that she explains in the essay; Eleven (an excerpt here) and the downloadable pdf here.

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That’s how being eleven years old is.

I like that concept. Now, I can go sulk in a corner or throw a fit at the husband and claim to be an irrational 12 year old. Except that it may just not fly with him as much considering my 12 year old’s a precocious little bundle that am massively proud of myself and I may just look more stupid than well, cute.

O well, thank heavens for blogs.

You know how we say “you wouldn’t know what I am going through, coz you aren’t in my shoes.”, in an apologetic tone mostly, or occasionally snapping at folks who try to comfort us, to empathize and even to reason, make us see better, feel something apart from what we feel?

I’d imagine it is hard? Unless, of course we have been in their shoes or similar pairs of shoes, it is a challenge to take that step and understand what they are going through. Not for the lack of trying, but then again, we hope to throw different perspectives n the same situation because for starters, we cannot convincingly look at it like how the person does.

Forget real life for a second and for a moment think of all those movie actors and artists that we watch on screen. They play a wide variety of characters, ones that we love to hate, ones we adore, and all in between. There are many who are known for their exemplary performances including facial expressions, the tears on demand – the ones that heave the shoulders and the ones that stop short teetering along the eyelids, the guffaws that need to look natural during the 36th retake of the scene, the rage the camera needs to capture to rile the audience , and the love and romance that needs to look real between two strangers to convince the real couples watching them.

It’s easy for us to play critics I suppose. Much easier than wanting to take that time and reflect on the challenge that the artists face.

These artists, they stand in the middle of a crowd, lights on them, pressure to deliver with a few dozens pairs of eyes watching their every move looking for that perfect capture. They are asked to sing romance, jive, cuss, sneer, tease, play a joker and they do. ..and we watch them, and some stay in our minds longer than others, and some fade quickly away. Chalking it to the fact that they are professionals, we move on. Forming opinions, loving them, sneering at them and scoffing, quick to rate.

This is the time when as a member of the audience one should ask the question, “How would I do in his shoes?”

For the most part, I’d imagine to laugh, smile, kid, horse around is a lot less challenging. It should come naturally, and it doesn’t require much prep work. Except of coures if one’s a sad sack. Then well, that’s work. But for the most part, I’d think the darker, deeper, thoughtful, tragic roles, require some spadework. It requires understanding the character, the mode of thinking, the situation and the reaction that’s expected of the character and then to be able to hold it all together and portray it convincingly enough.

That’s a heck of a lot of brain cells firing if you ask me.

Many chalenging roles come to mind, and among the stalwarts who portrayed them, my favorites include Savitri, Smita Patil, Suhasini. These actresses can show angst at a depth that can reach right into you and rip your heart out. There are others of course, but I am partial to these wonderful ladies.

A true artist’s resume covers a variety of roles that harnesses their capabilities to be versatile and malleable enough to pick up a charecter and own it. Many real life roles are based on well, today’s living breathing persons. Situations are easier to imagine, we see shades of people and minds around us all teh time. The urchin, the job-seeker, the loner, the loser, the snobbish rich kid and so on.

What if you were playing a role that is very hard to understand and relate to. Like mythological roles:

For instance, Bhaktha Sabari. To play a staunch devotee of Lord Rama, immersed in the love and affection of the divine Lord. To show it all, while acting like one was thousands of years old, the happiness, the satisfaction and the happy tears, when one cannot understand what it is to be her. How does one think and imagine the range of that role. When the audience is mesmerized into believing that they are indeed transported into

Similarly, think of Draupadi. How about Surpanaka? How about a woman abused and raped. The mother whose son has died. The female artist who plays a man’s role. The man who plays a female (and not look like he stopped mid-way)

Some roles are just difficult to imagine yourself into. Some roles you wouldn’t want to imagine yourself into. Under both these instances, an artist would probably imagine the next best situation that could bring the same kind of emotion onto the foreground.

Like for instance, there’s a lady called Kisa Gowthami who loses her son, and bemoans the loss in an intensity that a mother only could. She runs to Buddha to ask for a miracle, she needs her son back. It’s an attachment that she is bound to. There is deep angst, there is an unfathomable situation, one that a mother in real life will not and cannot bring herself to imagine. Yet, the show must go on. The artist reflects and brings to the surface a pain that’s close to her heart, one that will mimic the agony of the character onto her face and body.

I know what I will be thinking of. The misery will be real. It cannot be anything but real. The lips will quiver, the eyes will brim, the voice will choke and the agony will show. It isn’t hard if the pain’s real. ..and that is precisely the secret of how those actresses manage it all.

One must be true to the art they are passionate about. If not, it’s time to pack their bags.

Problem:

You land outside a center for son’s class. The doors are shut and the access requires for the teacher to buzz doors open. The doorbell’s busted. 3 minutes left and the son gets antsy.

Wife’s solution:

  1. Stress and curse under breath for a full minute, before wheels churn.
  2. Ask son to check if he has the teacher’s phone number written somewhere in his book.
  3. Drive into an alley, put blinkers on, and shield the toddler’s incessant questions on why the car was parked and not going the usual route.
  4. Check phone to see if the phone number was miraculously saved. Realize it isn’t and wonder why.
  5. In the meanwhile, try calling another parent who also attends the same class. No answer.
  6. Use the handy iPhone and check gmail to see if the number’s in any email.
  7. Acknowledge that gmail’s superior search function in the new updated iPhone system is useless, unless the right query’s inserted.
  8. Think.
  9. Realize with glee that the teacher had indeed called, but sadly 7 days ago.
  10. Quickly stroll through the calls and find a number that could match the time when the call was received.
  11. Thank iPhone’s feature on saving all missed calls.
  12. Dial.
  13. Get a voicemail that says “am out of the country, but here’s my sub’s number”
  14. Memorize the said number rattled out in a tone that resembles a desi version of Kramer on caffeine.
  15. Dial the number.
  16. Get the sub to open door for husband waiting outside.

Husband’s solution:

  1. Mutter ‘Oh’.
  2. Call the wife.

It’s been a bit of a long day and I still had some emails to finish before dinner. Instead of opening documents, I clicked on the reader and there it was 1000+ unread items. Once upon a time I was aghast and I’d feel hugely guilty about all that fine hardwork that was spent on writing those and I was being bad not reading them. These days, few things faze me. I eye the reader like a Floridian would watch the weather channel.

I glanced down quickly, and saw that Nehavish had this post up. I clicked and by God, it unfurled a deep liberating me from its slumber. It was so darned atrociously funny and just plain out of the world daring that I laughed for a long while. Here it is.

It’s  MC Hammer’s single.- You can’t touch this.

I watched the gold pants storm the store and I laughed with such glee and I did what comes naturally (I’d assume) to anyone; I got up and started dancing. The daughter of course rolled her eyes ever so slightly and walked right past me. They are used to me I guess by now, breaking into a dance just out of the blue while stirring sambar or folding clothes, or burst (completely out of tune) into a song the kids’ friends are over.

Watch this one:

See that girl in pink top/kurta. That’s me right there. No, I mean, not me as in me me, but that could very well be me. I went further and imagined myself in the traditional dress doing the kind of free dance on the streets of DC. I imagine a bunch of us girls could very easily pull it off, though we’d be banned from entering our school the next day on grounds of sacrilege or some such! *sigh

In any case, this isn’t about dance or the music. It’s about just getting up and letting yourself go. No inhibitions. People who know me in real life will attest to the fact that I belong to the rare breed of folks who don’t think twice on just getting up and letting go. Rules, formalities and sticking to social obligations can take a hike and a long one at that when I set my mind on something. Mostly impulsive, I don’t mind and in fact enjoy the occasional frolic into the space-where-the-sensible-woman-hasn’t-stepped-before. Something that went disappeared for awhile in the early part of the year as parts of me shrunk within as a defensive mechanism and reaction. Similar to a snail that retreats into its shell when alarmed or attacked.

I know I won’t be going back to completely where I was, but believe in the saying “live free or die”.  Seriously, what’s the point otherwise anyway? So yes, when was the last time you did something completely raw, basic and uninhibited? Something that you didn’t think twice about how you are seen by others, or the impression you create or worried that you were flouting some rules. .. and if you did, you did it anyway?

Here, let me go first: many incidents come to mind, and I’ve already written about one here, and then there’s always the school and kid events that I go bersek in, the times when with no warning whatsoever do a mean imitation among the girls, dress up strange and weird to take Halloween pictures to post on blog , volunteer at events that require mindless participation, break into “Miss Mary Mack” with a bunch of 7 year olds while the rest of the moms look like I’ve lost it, run straight into the water sprinkler with the kids, jump into a group of 18 year olds at a graduation party and show them the desi moves instead of sitting still and playing “aunt”.. and the list goes on.

Your turn. So tell me, who’d join me in wearing those gold pants and break into a dance? Yes yes, it’s a dare. ;-)

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