Am posting this as a reply to the numerous mails and pings that I’ve been getting over the past week. I did not expect the warmth and the persuasive offers of adjustments just for me to keep blogging. I was to close comments for my last post primarily as it ought not be construed as some kind of game that I was playing and to also dissuade dialogs, and I guess WP didn’t publish my last save, and so here we are.
I know I don’t owe anyone explanations, but it would look rude and snobbish for me to continue to ignore. I apologize for not replying to each individually, as I’d just rather copy paste my replies, and hence felt a post would serve the purpose.
Life is a as wonderful as it is unexpected and to a large extent quixotic. Going with what’s thrown at me has made me what I am and that’s precisely what am doing. Along the way, women wear many hates (men do too, but I talk for myself here) and at different times different hats (read priorities) take precedence. Over the past months and time, there has been an increasing awareness and need to focus on the other roles I play (and very happily too!) and we all know we just have 24 hours to fit it all into. To completely stop was not really in the grand scheme of things and the decision to do so hit me like a ton of bricks. Something that I don’t think I really wanted to, but felt I should. I could have just not posted and let my blog whither and shrivel, but then, I hate such slow deaths. Declaring it also reaffirms and puts a block on me. Silly perhaps, once decisions are made, but we work differently, and this works for me.
Writing to me is like an instinct. I can’t stop from doing it. Look at me now prattling on and on, instead of putting it succinctly as:
“Life’s busy, will write again sometime, but right now, I need to focus my energies on something very important to me and so can’t afford distractions”
Blogging’s a medium for my writing, not writing itself. Yes, it’s an instant gratifying medium, but I’ve always maintained that writing’s what gave me pleasure, and I wrote only when compelled by my own inner being. Giving up blogging’s almost like suffocating the writing part of me, which I obviously do not like. Writing’s always been my most clarifying mode of communication. Now, I feel am on mute, and am trying to bring to the surface other pieces of me that’s been laying around gathering dust, and which are as important as everything else that’s been in the foreground, and hope I can polish those communications too. :-)
Just like that, the word “Sabbatical” popped into my head and I liked the way this man put it.
A sabbatical is a period away from your normal routine – a time to immerse yourself in a different environment, a chance to see your life from a different perspective.
Taking a break from the routine of a high pressure work life is essential if you are going to connect deeply with the dreams that can inspire you on the next stage of your journey. To create the life of your dreams, you must slow down and listen to what your heart and soul are trying to tell you.
It’s surreal as I stand and watch me from the outside, and this scene mirrors me. I feel like the plastic bag floating around aimlessly, drawn with the winds and pressures, finding anchor. I know my anchor, I see my anchor. I have to just hold on and hope my anchor finds me too.
So yes, am taking 2010 off from blogging as my sabbatical period to go find other parts of me. A year runs very quickly, and we are already down to February, and there’s so much to unearth! It will be an interesting year ahead, too bad I won’t be sharing it all, but hey, if it’s any consolation, I know I am keeping what I like. Nothing and no one can make me less fun, less dreamy, frankly, less of me at all. If anything, I shall grow richer, and I can’t wait.
Thanks :)
..blogging. Indefinitely. Thanks for reading.
New Chapter, New Life.
2010 is my year after all.
So the husband dragged me to watch ‘Adurs’. With so much to do and wrap up, no idea why I allowed this to happen. Both of us came back with a slight headache. The last statement need not necessarily reflect my opinion of the movie.
My two cents:
- The movie was not worth $12/pop.It’s a DVD movie.
- I knew the story in the first scene and then kept anticipating the next. Bad for my brain.
- NTR jr is a flexible but boring dancer. He bends like the straw, but it’s the same straw and the same bends. After a while one is left with a crooked and slightly stiff neck.
- Nayantara has become half her size, and she has managed to continue to look hot. She can’t do a damn move except for shake that waist area. It gets boring. Even the husband said so, and he likes the girl.
- The other girl’s alright, though there’s something amiss. Her eyes or something. Great body, but the eyes, they lack the sparkle.
- NTR jr cannot do bram-speak. Bram-speak is not just using choice ‘abusive’ words. There’s a music to it. It’s heavenly to the ears despite whatever the content of the speech. When done right, there’s a laughter to it, suitable enough to hold your sides and laugh. Similar to Kamal in MMKR and stuff (That link is unrelated, I just like that scene a lot). Then again, maybe am comparing apples to oranges.
- Nassar’s of course losing it to go accept such itty bitty roles.
- Sankarabharanam Rajyalakshmi plays mom. As per the rules of all returning yester-years heroines, she’s suitably rotund.
- Brahmanandam is the star and the hero of the movie. The last hour or so despite the fights and twists and hopeful creative confusion he completely steals the thunder with his dialog delivery. I suspect he writes his own lines, or improvs appropriately. The guy’s an unbelievable natural.
- Too many songs, and not a single madisaar maami one. Very disappointed.
- Too many babies, babies in prams, toddlers running around, and small talk during the show at the theaters. Demands a separate post in complete vigor on the rules for (parents) watching movies at the cinemas, that am itching to get to.
In a relationship of any kind (relationship being loosely defined as one in which there is a familiarity and connection between two entities, regardless of depth or quality) entity A decides to leave, and the other entity B lets the former go, without a murmur, without a fight, without a question.
Does it always mean that entity A (who can very well be the master of his domain) is of no value or use to entity B?
Or perhaps, there is no value to be gained in the relationship? (should all connections be of value at all?)
Or perhaps there is understanding and mutual regard for the decision (which I think still deserves a murmur, however soft)
Somehow, I feel there should be something else that is lost between the obvious cracks that am totally missing.
Correct?
