Best friends and best friends forever..

Today’s daily prompt was on best friends. 

I seem to be (re)evaluating friendships and relationships, a lot lately. Actually that isn’t true. I have been doing that in the recent past, the immediate past and the current present has me completely letting go of all things that bind me down. It isn’t going great in case you were wondering, but that’s the ultimate goal. To be able to let go to the point that I still care but not bound by it.

ITS FRIKKIN DIFFICULT OK?

..AND I WENT THROUGH NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT THREE *NATURAL* CHILDBIRTHS WITH NO PAIN MEDICATION, AND AM SAYING THAT THIS BALANCE IS BLOODY DIFFICULT.

There! That balance is hard. For me.

Not for my best friends, though. They are marvelous little jugglers, with a genetic disposition of the long matted hair saints in the Himalayas, or a sleepy gecko in the caribbean. I switch according to how much I love them at that moment.

I am a useless loyalist. I really only have the bandwidth for one single friend at any given point in time. If you are thinking “wow” – let me assure you, it isnt a safe place to be. Not that the friend in question will cheat on you, which is a whole new rant in its own, but that situation and life is a b*tch and no one really is responsible but people change and times change and so the relationship goes through some subtle to crazy chemical reactions and no one really knows the outcome of what each of us go through while storming it.

All my school life, I had just one friend. ALL. I had friends, but she was my soul mate. I break into tears even now when she pings me or we talk just a bit more than the usual “life is crap, but whatever right? type of talks.

In college I had one more. I cheated on my bestie from the above. Serves me right. Coz I know karma pays back and I have paid for that heavily. I had one other girl bestie whom I related to more. It was great. She moved on after college and we occasionally talk, but she went through a tragic life changing event last year and has since blocked her away.

Also anyone who tells you earth is flat and there is the internet and its so easy to be in touch is A CLUELESS LIAR.

I didnt really have a good BFF for a while after moving here to the US.

Then I found her. She still is, and she makes me feel so comfortable and so at ease and I love her to death. Since two years, we aren’t in touch as much as I would like to just because of life and physical distances etc, but every time I meet her my eyes light up and I am very happy. I truly wish I could spend more time with her, but we all know time is again another slimy b*tch.

What this BFF taught me was that being BFF wasn’t two-way. Just because she is mine, doesn;t mean I am hers. It isn’t mutual, and it doesn’t have to be and yet, it is okay. Took me forever to learn that.

Don’t you just hate (re)learning things as an adult, but the funny part is that we learn the most valuable lessons as adults. Not as children.

I also think guys make great friends. They are the best actually when all you want to do is talk, and if you want to hear the truth, and not be judged. I’ve had some pretty awesome guy friends, mainly online, and they’ve all floated in and out of my life, just like we drifters are meant to.

Only catch with them is that they go get married. Then that wife hates you. She will never act out the fact that she hates you, she will never breathe a word about you, she will stand at a safe distance and smile if she has to, not at you, but her husband when you land in their life. She will ignore you and make you feel like a worm and unwelcome and essentially screw with your mind so much that it takes a herculean effort to NOT shadow that with what you have with the guy. Of course the guy will have to keep the wife happy and well, that’s then then for you, the sucker friend.

It’s again WORK, to look beyond and tread carefully and tightrope it etc.

Who likes to work and consciously? Sigh.

Or they go have a baby.

Or a dog.

Men are single track minds. So asking them for time when you want to quick chat or run something by you is perfectly okay, but once they get married, it is never the same.

So there goes that dow that draining sinkhole.

So yes, what was the prompt again?

“Do you — or did you ever — have a Best Friend? Do you believe in the idea of one person whose friendship matters the most? Tell us a story about your BFF (or lack thereof).”

Yeah, I do think friendships rock. They, like any relationship need work, and both need to want to be there. It needs to be watered regularly. It needs time, and space and trust and mutual respect.

For folks like me, who invest heavily in that one single relation-at one time; it’s an emotional drain and fear that we live in constantly. Coz you learn to recognize the signs. You block them, but there they are badgering you constantly. Then you know. You just know it, when that heart sinks just a bit low when you wake up one day.

…and then you wonder, will it be awhile before someone else comes along, will it be quick, will it be painful, and will it last long after the embers are dead, and you just know that life will go on. The wheels will turn and sometimes slow sometimes faster than u can cope, but they turn and you will hobble along with or without your BFF next to you, but the memories will always stay with you.

 

the last call (fiction)

Fiction Friday Challenge

Your character is  stranded in the middle of nowhere and their phone has enough battery for one call. Who do they you call?

***

Paul was your average 30 year old man, pale skin, hair thinning at the temples, slight paunch, just enough to make him tighten the belt just a bit more around his pants lest it escapes out below him. He worked hard for a living, doing odd jobs from playing a clown at birthday parties to doing voice overs for the Virginia Lottery. It paid okay, and since thankfully he did not have a kid or two or a wife in tow, he was a happy camper.

Paul was the kind of guy who could blend in with any crowd. Wait, that isn’t accurate. He could get lost in the crowd. One of those mild mannered soft spoken humans who people don’t notice much, even if they ran around in a pelican costume. Paul liked that some times. Especially when he was in junior high and wore a jaw brace that his mother insisted would be good for his speech. Or the times when he let go in the closed band room and everyone closed their noses and looked all around, but didn’t once suspect him. If he were just slightly crafty, he could have gotten away with a lot more, but he was not crafty or shrewd or even a prankster as a kid.

He slept at the same time, in the same sheets his aunt had gifted him for Christmas, he had dinner at the same time watching Tom Brokaw on the TV he salvaged from his cousin’s home, showered at the same time listening to 99.5 ‘s War of the Roses, every time dreaming of having a volatile relationship like the ones he heard. Then he would shudder and cross himself and say a small prayer for the cheaters and the cheated alike. He loved his oatmeal, and he liked his coffee with just one creamer, like the way he was advised to by his dad. He picked up his mail everyday before dinner and usually threw them all into the green recycle except from the occasional postcard from his bacpacking sister, a stark contrast to his rooted self.

If his life were made into a movie, it would be a documentary that even the movie critics would have slept through. There was a comfort in that thought as much as rueful remorse.

One fine day, he came under the spotlight. All he did was to audition for a role of an ordinary telephone salesman. Lady luck must have been cleaning under the couch, for she dusted the bunnies off him and shoved him on the table under the bright light. People loved him, and his ambivalent hesitant smile when he said his line.

Perfect! Shouted the director. He is our man.

The next hour flew while he was asked to sign documents, and was slapped into a pair of gray overalls and given a schedule. The days were a blur, with each day being a flurry of activities, new faces, slaps on his back, checks rolling in and most importantly when every single person he met in the corridor, elevator and on the road started waving and acknowledging his existence. He ate a different breakfast every day and even got himself a cell phone, which was an irony to begin with.

He warmed to the attention, and was beginning to bask in the glory of it all. His time had come.

Strong light attracts bugs too. Corporate jealousies were under-rated.

One afternoon, he was picking up some oranges that he suddenly had a fancy for and he felt a slight pinch on his back. The next morning he woke up to the rough sands pricking him under, and the sun shone on him bright. Slightly groggy, he lifted his head up to see he was laying on a beach, with a thick clump of trees behind him. When he could get himself on his feet, he looked all around and scratched his head. He had no recollection of the past few days (it must have been at least two days going by the growth on his chin) of how he got to this place and how.

He explored. He shouted. He ran around in circles.

He was indeed alone. No roads, no people, no animals (ones he could see at least) and no electric wires anywhere, not even any fish when he walked knee deep into the waters. Just sand, sun and the trees. A haven for some, Paul was getting slightly nervous. He was getting increasingly hungry, thirsty and that made him sad.

He ruminated till sunset on his life. The downs, the ups and the fantastic play of it all. He now was sure God was just playing a mean trick on him and he was somehow caught up in a reality show so popular these days, and strained to see a hidden camera in the dim twilight.

Exhausted he fell asleep. The next morning, nothing changed. The evening didn’t bring much change either.

He kicked small pebbles, and made sand castles. He climbed the trees and pretended to be a lost pirate. This new surrounding unlike his single gray apartment had plenty to offer.

When the sun came up the horizon, Paul resigned to a life on the island. It was in a way being his old self again. Unseen, unnoticed, and unheard of, a simple man with simple wants, left to his own destiny.

He started smiling again.

That afternoon, he was walking along the waters near the rocks. His eye caught something shining between the rocks usually under high tide. He climbed up and reached under. His fingers wrapped around a slightly scratched metal and out came his cell phone. Paul looked at the cell phone for a very long time. He then flipped it open.

To his surprise, there was one bar of battery left. The signal on the other hand was strong.

He stared at the bars hard, and looked up at the island and trees. Closed his eyes and allowed his whole life to flash in front of him.

He then made his decision.

He dialed the only direct call he had keyed in to his phone. A 1-800 number to the company’s telephone operator.

Paul closed his left ear with his forefinger, bent his face down a little, and in is signature voice that had entertained thousands of Americans all across the nation said “Can you hear me now?”

With a click, the line went dead.

He flung the phone far and wide into the waters and ran into the woods. His new solace.

***

This is a fictional piece and carries no relation or relevancy to this guy, but it certainly is a spinoff of this commercial. 

lines

She’d cavorted freely all around. Around him and abound. His presence neither hindering nor aiding, but a steady anchor in the hurricanes that usually shook her every now and then.

There was always a freedom and the liberty that she took for granted. He’d never stopped her. A fondness that they shared mutually. The hiccups and the yawns made it all normal. A life ordinaire. The usual thin bed of roses with the thorns numbing the prick as they poked through.

Mistrust, dialogs, and decibels.

A mesh descends extending its slimy fingers around her. She stands transfixed, watching lines form steadily. Black, deep and repugnant, they mock at her. Taunting. Tempting. The promise of a smile and a warmth that would melt the darkness away.

She hesitates, unsure.

The caged borders held a familiar comfort. The known pain was a comfort compared to the harshness outside. An asylum in retrospect.