Rinse Repeat and Start Again

As part of “kids say the darnest things” I fell upon this little anecdote on an 8 year who said this sagely, as she mixed brownie batter purposefully. She was hearing her mom talk about their dog and then the neighbors and all through the chatter and silence, she had looked up and said those words below.

Think about it.
“I love you” seems to be the most commonly used phrase within the family, between friends, romantic partners, and husband and wife and so on. It’s a relationship bound for the most part. We hear it at least once every day, either being told to us, or we say it to someone or we overhear.
Almost akin to breathing.
‘love you honey”
“love you babe”
“aw baby, I love you!”
“you know I love you right?”
and I could go on, but you get the point.

I love how she points out that you must never really say it as a habit, but more of a conscious declaration of what you deeply feel within you towards this person you feel it for.
Purposefully, with complete mindfulness that you declare your love and affection. Not as a statement to be acted upon, and to dwell on, as a barter as a deal or as a sword held precariously, to be wanted to reciprocate.

It’s as sacred as it is common. So, be warned to not be glib about saying it.

I love the way the frail mind is referenced here.
We forget.
We all forget.
We forget the past, the fleeting present and we forget the preciousness in a relationship. We forget our promises, we forget our kindness and we forget the pleasure of feeling.
It’s human nature.
Not me. Not you. No one’s fault. It’s the way it is.

Some people forget that they are loved.
They need reminders.
Not just in those 3 words, but in the affirmations that do not require those words to be spoken. Yet, there is magic in saying them. With conviction, with depth as you look into their eyes, and to get to a point that you feel they are inadequate.
It happens when you love a person so.
Saying “i love you” just doesn’t cut it. You feel that?

Our mind is distracted, and succumbs to many an event, the present day engulfs us, and we forget.
It’s okay to repeat those words again and again and again.
Some of us thrive on them. It’s like the air we breathe. The food we need and the drop of water that we crave. We aren’t needy, we just thrive on love. Flourish on it.
Grow in it.
Bloom in the presence and affirmations of love.

It’s okay to rinse and repeat.
It is not boring. Not if you meant it in the first place anyway.
So next time, someone throws a fit at you, or they weep in insecurity, or they act up, Just stop them, look into their eyes and tell them you love them. Only if you mean it though. Then tell them.

You never would understand the value of that pause and the reboot their delicate heart gets when you take that moment to tell them that you love them.

Consider it a jumpstart to a slowly beating heart.
It’s a rescue mission at times.
So rinse and repeat and start all over again.
Flat lines are no good for anyone.

Celebrate Love

I asked, via my newsletter and boy, did I receive?!

I asked what your favorite love story, line, quote or experience with love as your emotion and experience and I got enough and plenty that I had to go tile them up and make them all pretty to look at too, not just the words but even how they looked while you read them :-)

So, without further chatter, here they are!

1. A dear reader and a friend from the real world sent me this and made my day and I smiled,  happily, tad self-consciously to hear such praise and thank God I get some reminders! Thanks SG!

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2. This is also from another dear friend, AN, who emailed that he liked the newsletter and that this was his favorite. Guess what, it’s my favorite too! I can’t tire reading it, and most likely will read it this month. :-)

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3. Sammy sent me this. Sweet sweet thing I met a couple of years ago, we met via blogs, and romance is so high in her life considering she is a newly wed and all that, but hey, Alai Payuthey is an amazingly romantic sweet and lovely movie and the actors are adorable as are the sequences of love and romance. Even old boring listless folks may have seen a sparkle after that!

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4. Padma sent me this. She’s a mom and well and deeply sunk into marriage and boredom, but she says the best part of her day comes with the look in her husband’s eyes when she jumps with joy watching movies and she loves movies! Go figure :-)

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5. Hugh as he goes by told me that every love, no matter what kind grows only when you feed it. Love is work, but worth it, but you gotta feed it! So there. Food for thought?

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6. As silly as this sounds, it’s the smallest things that matter in a relationship. SS is a blog reader and she always always sends me a short mail when a post speaks to her. She said, that her brother mentioned this of his wife of 18 years. He said that she was the happiest when he left the last piece of cake/bread for her, which of course gets ultimately shared between them, but the fact that he tells her “it’s for you” or “I saved this for you” gets a crazy wild and happy sparkle in her eyes and it just makes him so happy seeing her like that.

One collective huge aw. No? :)

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7. Cold winters are a nightmare. Just by doing this alone scores tremendous brownie points in my book and looks like in her book too! It’s always the smallest things. :-)

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8. Z, a twitter buddy sent this out and I realized how both the emotions were equally important! It’s not enough to love a man, but it’s important to like him enough to sustain that love. No? I think so. People don’t give “like” part of their relationship enough value. and no, they are not the same, and one may evolve into the other, but retaining the like is so much more valuable for longer and happier relationships, in my book at least.

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9. THIS is how SG’s husband convinced her to marry him. By telling her to be practical and wise and accept his proposal coz he surely loved her more and to marry someone who loves you a lot more is a sure way to a happy fabulous life. ;-)

Smart man. Wise woman. Happily married with two kids and they are a joy to watch, even in pictures!

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10. M on twitter mentioned this, and I had to google it, and well, it is a proposal in a book where two high-brow characters propose and accept to get married. Romantic enough words? Latin is romantic? I still prefer French and their rolling r’s but hey, I’ll take Latin! :)

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11. What a line. Simple and seemingly obvious on the archaic, permissions, it speaks of gallantry and elegance in the tradition of romance and tenderness. <3

Z sent this one in too, and there is an old-world charm that will never go out of style. Nope.

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12. KR from twitter sent me this as part of his post, on his interpretation of love. It is true isn’t it though? Love is an emotion that entertains and graces one who let’s it go. Who is not tethered down by fears and insecurities and to just allow the emotion to consume you, take you in. It’s very neat in fact. :) IMG_1565

13. AK said this to his best friend. During courtship and a perfectly romantic period in his and her life, where every line and word spoken between them meant something more than just words, and the smiles they shared between the letters and the unsaids that echoed the thoughts that synchronized and rang in harmony.

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***

There is beauty in love, camaraderie and friendship.

There is love even there isn’t seen by the naked eye. Sometimes, like the unseen sea breeze, it can only be felt, at times it’s like the tempest. Like the wind, it can only be felt, but not seen. When it can be seen, it’s almost always disguised to the naked eye.

When it is raw, it is beautiful. Stark and plain beautiful. So gorgeous it can overwhelm you from within and exhaust you and leave you breathless. Like me, now.

***

All tiles done in Parable app. It’s like Noteography app, and has some ways to go to make it more social and interactive within the ecosphere, but it’s cute as is. Try it maybe? (nope, they didn’t pay me to say it, just a friendly recommendation)

life finds a way

Yes, I start with a cliche.

Ive been surrounded by sobering moments the past few weeks. There’s just been so much news both in the outside world and in the world that I am a constant part of, where things are coming to a full circle. The circle of life as they say. There is sadness, sickness, death, and loss of hope. News that can make you sit up straight and pay attention to yourself, to the ones around you. From the various calamities across the globe, to the targeted puncturing of lives, intentionally and otherwise, poof, a life is gone and we are just left with whatever we can make of the moment passed.

I just saw the sister of Deah Barakat, hold such a strong reserve while speaking with Anderson Cooper and I broke down. I see the ailing grandfather succumbing to a ruthless body slam and I am shocked. I hear increasingly vitriolic words, accusations and actions based on assumptions and their own insecurities that reaches through the bytes and hurt us. I see it all. With an air of resignation.

I try hard to smile. I swore I would make a difference to myself, and I would make a difference to just one person a day, nothing huge, but if am able to offer comfort, a smile, or a squeeze of the palm, maybe, just maybe I would make a difference to them. Maybe they will find the strength within them to battle and hold fort as the harsh winds blow over them and yet, they remain steadfast and un-affected.

I hope.

a shoot

I see a few new emails in my inbox.

My heart soars.

It soars because of their content.

A woman who admits the attention she gets from another adult is flattering. She enjoys it. Revels in it. It’s a beginning of a love story. All love stories don’t need an ending, but there is an path, a journey and it’s the smile through the journey that counts.

Another young woman offers me a smile and a perspective. She herself is bogged down plenty and she has killed more demons than the whack-a-mole game can throw at us in one play. She smiles. A broad smile. Rich in happiness, as she takes stock of what’s left and the choices she has made.

A young man writes to say he finds the writings are inspirational. That he enjoys what I serve here. He writes too, of love and everything else that surrounds it.

My little girl has diligently made 26 bracelets to hand to her classmates for Valentine’s day tomorrow. Out of those painful small rubber bands. Silly bands. It took her a couple of hours, but she toiled. She wanted to do it and she was perfectly at peace with her classmates who “may not wear it much, but no, they wouldn’t throw it away!”

I see the President of the US, make faces in the mirror, pretend to be 007, take selfie with a GoPro/Selfie stick and I see him sketch his crush. I see him NOT take life seriously, even if for the shoot. Nothing about the grin and the jaunt is for the camera, he looks like he is enjoying himself.

I see an email, every day, from a friend who sends me quotes. I am now used to them, and I don’t always reply. Some are extremely cliched. Some strike a chord. Again, it’s not the words, but what they stand for and when they reach me. It’s all about the timing we are all governed by.  Today’s was “Don’t watch the clock, do what it does, keep going” by Sam Levinson. It came when I was floundering with words and the page looked ominously white. I had to keep going.

Another young man reaches through the words and offers a hug. No words, just a hug. I am thankful.

I see hope.

I am shown that through the pall that will weigh us at every point, there is that tiny ray of hope that’s fighting to break through it to reach us. It’s there for you to see, reach out and grasp it and use it to break free.

Life does go on.

Though to go on, one must live, mourn, rejoice and feel the day, and then rise. Rise above the pettiness and the incompatibilities, the classes and the groups and the incredible hate that exists between us, to rise to a point that the murky waters are far below us and all we see and hear is love, and the beauty of being with each other.

Love and Kindness.

Hope we can remember them when we forget.

Happy Valentine’s :-)

 

2 Ways Of The GroundHog

Feb 2nd is Ground hog’s day.

Not exactly Christmas or woohoo, it’s snow day, but just your average groundhog who is scared or lazy enough to NOT want to get out of it’s warm burrow! It’s winter,after all! And then the one time it does decide to come out to trench it’s tiny swollen little leg and belly and peek out, what does he see but a ton of cameras and very rude nosy reporters shoving their black gigantic mikes and cameras onto his home and nose. Uncool!

Imagine the scenario? Would you like the world at your doorstep just hoping you will NOT see your shadow?

It seems like an old wives tale, a folklore or something that could feature in a sci-fi novella, but nope, this is a regular feature and we all love to crowd around the TV and news – “What’s Phil saying? Is Phil out yet? Did he see his shadow? Oh God no! Oh c’mon Phil!”

Sooooooo, now that Ive officially crossed the meandering limit for my post, what I realllly want to say and ask and suggest was this:

Why not we be Phil Pauxtawny for a day? Yeah?

Alright. I’ll explain. So, you know how Phil pops up while hibernating the winter away? But pop he does? Just to say Hi, and check out the world before returning to his own cocoon?

Isn’t that how we live our lives?

In cocoons? In our comfort space? With our own thoughts, captured and dwelling in our minds and the daily grind that we have enmeshed ourselves into? We are aren’t we? So, just like Phil, how about we take a moment to step outside of our lives. Look around, and stop thinking about us and our own intricacies, but genuinely spend a little time and thought on ones who are around us? Just one person maybe? A person who you have lost touch with, who you once shared a rapport, someone who made a difference to you, even in the smallest way possible.

Reach out

So here’s a drive that I’d like for you to be a part of:

1. Think back to someone whom you lost touch with. EVEN if they are on Facebook and not really actively participating. They can be your friend, classmate, a lost cousin, an uncle, a mentor, an ex-colleague or someone you shared a carpool, a coach or your ward. Think back. Wonder. Remember.

2. Look them up. Call them. Nope, no Facebook message, no whatsapp, no tweet, no whatever else which way that the internet has thrown at us. Pick up the phone, better yet, drop in, but if they are a distance away, call them. Surprise them with your voice. With the care and the thought that you once cherished, talk to them. Genuinely talk with them. Make that time.

3. Glow in the happiness and laughs or warmth that you shared. Bask in the glory of how you two made each other. Okay, that was a bit more cozy than I meant for you to be, but you get the drift!

4. Come back here, tell me what you did and how it went and well, wish me. Yes, it’s my birthday. It’s the best gift you can give me.

5. If you are on Facebook, click on this event, and join in. Speak there. It’s okay, be yourself, no one really cares, and if they do, well, they would love you more for it. I promise you.

So, what do you think?

Relationships, however small, and however fleeting, matter. If they didn’t, you wouldn’t have remembered them.

People matter.

Networks matter.

You matter.

Agree?