….sinks low at a slow pace, I am told.
Saturday afternoon with the mind in complete confused state on which of the list of events laid out in front of us as a family needed priority, the husband pops the most mundane question.
He: Any groceries you need, am stepping out.
Me: eh? *woken from my deep meditative state of mind*
He: Groceries? The stuff that we need to eat?
Me: Right. Groceries. Do we need any? *puzzled look*
He: I donno, you tell me. I have milk and bread on my list. *looks at me, pausing*
Me: hmm.. no, no vegetables. No desi stuff. *looking towards the open pantry door*
He: No vegetables? Does that mean we have no vegetables or we don’t need vegetables?
Me: It means we don’t need to buy any vegetables. *mind still occupied with my to-do list*
He: Ah, then you say “We have vegetables.” Positive. Not double negatives.
Me: Right. *throwing him a raised eyebrow and not wanting to draw this further*
He: Okay, so nothing else? Good.
Me: Wait. Pasta. Spaghetti and elbows.
He: Okay. What else?
Me: Nothing else.
Me: eh? Sugar?
He: Yes, sugar.
Me: No, no sugar.
He: Yes, there is no sugar.
*Spar-stares for the next 10 seconds, in which mine is bewildered and his is patient*
He: Look behind you.
Me: *refusing to look behind me* Why? What’s behind me?
He: The sugar jar is empty.
Me: Oh. But there’s tons of sugar in the pantry.
He: No, we don’t.
Me: Yes we do.
He: No, we don’t. I checked. *Edge in his voice*
Me: What do you mean you checked? It’s right there. *swinging the door open and reaching in*
He: It’s there?
Me: I know it is. *now on my knees checking usual shelf and not finding it* What? Of course it isn’t where I placed it coz you’re always shuffling things around my space!
He: No I don’t shuffle, only thing I care for in there is the cereal.
Me: *still with my head inside* Yea sure, who meddles with the chips on the top, the other day the salsa just perched itself in here. It must have felt very cold in the refrigerator?
He: Oh, so we need a new bottle of salsa. *jotting it down*
Me: WHAT? Why would we?
He: I donno about you but am not dipping my chip in a bowl of warm salsa.
Me: I have a new bottle in the refrigerator. *glaring*
he: Okay. So we done. What about that sugar?
Me: I really am quite positive that the sugar pack walked itself into the refrigerator or maybe even the garage and if I search for it, I will find it.
He: I searched. We don’t have the sugar.
Me: We do! *stubbornly refusing to admit otherwise*
He: No we don’t.
Me: Yes we do, somewhere.
Daughter speaks out from her corner on the couch:
“You know Madre and Padre, I am in middle school and the 12-13 year old boys are the most difficult people to deal with. Very immature and can talk for hours without meaning a thing. This conversation, very mature I must say. Dad – buy that sugar. Mom – search for that sugar. Good luck in finding it. Dad – if mom does find it, we can perhaps save that sugar pack for the time we are snowed in and we have to make a meal out of that whole sugar pack, like pure sugar cookies?
Done! Now can I get back some silence while I deal with this really terrible juvenile Math SOL review paper that I need to complete? Thank you.”
I don’t think I thank the daughter enough.