connecting the dots

So we’ve all played connecting the dots at some point in time correct? If it’s one of those straight lined ones, its’ easy. What if it was an abstract piece, or even simpler, how about an animal, wildlife scene, or a barnyard with cows, pigs and such. Sometimes, we’ve actually not connected them ‘just right’. Occasionally we’ve skipped right through the tail, or drawn a bigger loop for the ears and so on correct?

Yeah.

Now my blog with all my posts in it are my dots. Yes, they are mine, and only mine.

I allow for others to play if you so choose, but I am the creator. I am the only one who knows the final correct picture. I am the only one who knows which dot has to get connected to which other dot so that the picture comes out as beautiful as how I had in mind.

Like this beautiful shiny black horse that is sprinting at an amazing speed, an image caught mid-air with its nostrils flared, the mane reaching out into the sky, the tail swishing in all its glory, the legs stretched and rippling under the rush of it.

The image is startlingly pretty in my head that I can choke any minute now and I could cry.

Newsflash: This is my space, my blog and my words. I will guard all of these as fiercely as possible against all skewed notions.

Where is all this coming from?

Over the past week I was made aware of a certain notion. Apparently someone’s been connecting the dots. Good stuff you’d think correct? Yes, I thought so too. But here’s what happened.

They drew it all, and then when they stepped back, the image that they and I see in place of my shiny black horse is a huge jackass.

It’s really not all their fault. The horse and the ass are very similar. They all belong to the same family, and pretty much look a lot alike. Just that one’s a fine horse and the other’s, well, an ass. My munchkin would laugh and say “but mommy, that’s not a horse, that looks like a donkey.” and she, the four year old will be right. Frankly, they know animals best!

Still abstract?

Let me spell it out even more.

So if a person’s reading ‘fable 3’ and then ‘vent 17’ and then an ‘introspection 12’ and sees me link to a love song on twitter, they sit there on their jobless butt and doing some major mind-storming and purse their lips and lick their tiny pencils and connect them all off in that sweet little adrenaline-charged rush; hey, their boring afternoon just got better! Hallelujah! They then assume “oh perfect, mystery solved! So THAT’s what’s bothering Rads. She’s so upset with her education in introspection that she’s vented on the college buddies and then to satisfy her unfulfilled desire, has written a lusty piece as a fable.”

Wow! Perfect? NOT!

Coz what just happened is a classic case of what happens when one assumes. Strictly speaking, assume is making an ass out of U and ME. But then, am cool, so they make an ass out of themselves.

This is when they are sitting grinning smug in their cozy chair chomping on chicken fingers and going “ain’t I the best detective on earth? *sigh. The FBI sure must be regretting not hiring me. O well, blogs are so much fun anyways. Connect a coupla ones with a technorati authority high enough and baby, am in business.” Then they’d look square at you in the eye and drop their voice down to a whisper and say “These people, a fine woman and a fine gentleman, I mean, c’mon, of course there’s something going on! See, how careful they are, they don’t even comment at each other’s spaces, and they think that’s gonna fool us! Pshaw!”

Now this kind of screwed up logic first, rattles my naive brain but after awhile pisses me off completely. Then I decide. I act.

Then I say ‘ Yo sweet sugar, who you trying to pull a fast one on? If you really are that desperate to link me with someone, please may I suggest matt Damon, John Abraham and Abhishek Bachhan and even Obama. I proudly proclaim to have the hots for these fine gentlemen.

No, you listen to me and listen to me good. You have no frikkin’ clue as to who you’re dealing with, do you? I am the local kickass detective around the area. I rule in deductive reasoning, and I pick up the slightest hint of a clue!

  • Trolls connect dots weirdly.
  • You connected these dots weirdly.
  • You are a troll.

I put this kind of stuff together for a living, and you tryin’ to tell me 2 and 2 makes 5? Moron!! You may cover yourself with a bucket of stinkin’ J’adore for now, and I may have missed you for a bit, but baby, I’ve ratted you out and there you are squirming in the spotlight. I’ve got you by the scruff and here’s a fine firm kick on your bottom. Say goodbye to this world, and buzz off!!

On second thought, perhaps I should add a disclaimer to all my fables/introspective posts (just like hollywood and bollywood do)  –

if anyone thinks this resembles someone you know, you are dumb. Or insecure. Or both

***

On a  serious note, am a happily married mother of three living the perfect suburban life (still waiting on that dog, and will get one eventually, even if I have to dope the husband) and no, am not miserable, as much as I’d like to satisfy your insecurities, what I write is not all about some real or online person. I like drama. I like fiction. I like life. I love words. I put them together coz thats what I do. This is my sounding board. I will write whatever the hell I want! As long as I don’t infringe copyrights or give room for libel, am not answerable or will have to justify any of my posts to anyone. No one tells me how to run my space. No one.

Ones who agree, please stay. You see reason and I love you. Say ‘w00t’ in comments.

One who don’t, please use the little red button with an X on your screen. In PC’s it’s on the top right corner, Mac’s have it on the top left corner.  Bye Bye.

Hell yeah! I am back and better baby!!

***

PS: Added on Feb 15th 2009.

To think that I actually wroteThe words, they speak differently to different people I am told.” at my other blog quite some time ago!

Thank you all so much for your support, comments and cheer. I hope you understand that the post is vague and not hugely explanatory primarily because I’d like it that way. Please also understand that I do not want to get into explanations, justifications, and reasoning on the various aspects of truth. I did not do anything wrong. That is the absolute truth. This incident has not only affected me deeply in a few different ways but also someone I cared for and has created a little hurricane in my normally peaceful life over the past week.

Yesterday the husband and I watched “The International” – A dialog rang true and applicable to the whirlwind in my space and I paraphrase:

Some will hear what’s told, Some will hear only what they want, and then there’s a whole load of shyt and then there’s the truth.”

I have a disclaimer up for all my fables. For the ‘miserable’ ones out here, I’ll just blame the husband. All-encompassing? :-)

It’s time to move on, and leave things behind and calm down the ripples and hence have shut down comments on this. Chop chop now, get to work and fun, you aren’t getting any younger you know!! :)

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32 thoughts on “connecting the dots

  1. Here’s a good joke about suburban families, the mom and the dog. Apologies for its length. And it’s not even pertinent. Just remembered it, and put it down for posterity.

    In a suburban family the kids were clamoring for a pet. It was the vacation and they were bored.

    The mother, overworked and stressed out, objected with all her might while daddy said “I guess it’s alright, dear”.

    Eventually, the kids were given a puppy but only on the clear understanding that the day they stopped taking care of it, it would go out the house.

    The kids agreed, of course, and named the puppy ‘Paddy’.

    Everyday, they would take Paddy for walks, bathe him, feed him, groom him, everything. But soon, school started and the kids conveniently forgot all about the dog.

    The mother carried on gamely for a few weeks and then, had a breaking point.

    She called the kids for a conference and told them in her gravest voice
    “Children, I am sorry. I can’t take this anymore. Paddy will have to go. I’m throwing him out of the house”

    The children did not seem overly shocked, but they did protest. She had expected as much.

    “But Mommy”, the eldest one said, “he is so sweet”

    “And he loves you too”, the second one piped up

    “He’s so cuddly “, said the youngest.

    “I am sorry children. We had agreed about this when the vacation started. This is final. Paddy will HAVE to go”

    Realization dawned!

    “Oh, you said Paddy. We thought you meant Daddy!”

  2. Woot!!
    Looking forward to more posts. Please please don’t stop writing. I have recently started reading your blog and really look forward to it.

  3. Woof!
    Woof!
    (Making up for the taking-a-while-in-coming-pet.)

    WOOT!

    But Rads, it’s amusing, and a wee bit flattering, no?

  4. Pwned!!!
    It’s easy to jump to conclusions – I’ve done that enough to know. What those jumping to conclusions don’t know is that what appears a soft spot to land is but murky sand and it’s easy to be pulled under.
    Way to go, R. I’d have worded this tad more strongly if I were you.

  5. Someone beat me to it aah? Dammit!

    And ya, I demand details too!

    To the troll:

    Please to visit my blog and link me up with interesting people. I lead a boring suburban housewife’s existance. I’m still fighting for a dog and I do not think I can dope my husband since he cooks for both of us and is unbearably nice. I do not have kids either, so no guilt or messiness involved. So, I’m free and have lots of male friends and all that. Yes, male only please?

    I’d prefer Obama too. To serve my life’s desires and political ambitions. Can you see if you can connect any of Michelle’s dots and boot her out?

  6. Contrary to popular belief,I did indeed just wake up or at least arrived at complete consciousness.in any case,let me launch in to my complicated argument of ones own self and the trolls who shoved their noses where the sun don’t shine – you’re right about this essentially being your space..while you open yourself out to interpretation by trolls,of course we realize that they might come back with idiotic ones -that should be their disclaimer.Here’s a big woot and a double woot,because you’re doing an absolutely fine job of running your space and if it means some people who have nothing much else to do but connect the dots wrong (either because of plain idiocy,incompetence or a lack of total understanding,entirety or simply one time errors) – we’re still not selling our peace for peanuts.
    Having typed this out(skewed because it’s from my phone) ,the way I interpreted this post might be well wrong :)
    Woot,again.

  7. I was there when this post was being written but I slept, went out in the morning and now I come, so much has happened!

    Ok, I need details offline too. I also ask, why such a vague post. Yabba!!!

  8. All: As the comments poured in, my energy and hope has come back to me. I have been under the weather since Wednesday night and am still recuperating, yet, there’s a warmth in my heart and a glow on my face.

    Thank you, thank you. Please read PS to the post above.

    Thanks for understanding that with this comment, this issue is now dead and buried. Only I shall take this with me to my grave. Yeah? :-)

  9. As a jackass, I have to ask – just what do they see in me that they look at the big picture and think they’re seeing my big, hairy butt?

    It’s my ears, isn’t it?

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