happy deepavali 07

So with a lot of confusion on when the day is, we at home have finally decided that we would celebrate Deepavali at home tomorrow. Kinda weird but this year there was supreme confusion on when the day happened in our parts of the world. Ultimately I consoled myself saying, it didn’t matter when the good time was as long as you felt it in your heart to be happy. A piece of wisdom that I learnt from a fine lady years ago.

My mother-in-law was a wonderful woman. As with most moms who’d look forward to meeting their sons who came out here to study/work,  she eagerly awaited the husband’s arrival from these parts every few months when he could make it. Once while I was still sitting back home, and he was due during January [Pongal/Sankranthi], which also coincides with his birthday, he couldn’t make it until late in the evening. The usual flight delays and riding 2 trains to arrive home got him all upset when he did land. Of course I was disappointed as that essentially cut down my spending time with him by 2 full days. Staying apart during the 1st year of marriage is hard, and it was down to 3 weeks once in 5 months. Thrice.

In any case, the whole day I sit there fuming yet understatedly quiet, coz young married daughters-in-law aren’t really supposed to go ranting and raving at their new beaus [that’s saved for later behind closed doors!] to the in-laws. MIL in the meanwhile had this quiet patient look, though her legs walked her up and down forever. Cell phones did not exist back then, so a call placed every couple of hours either by the husband or by us to the train station let us know where in transit he was.

Finally when he did arrive, it was past 9 pm. Father-in-law, a sedate professor teased his wife and son on how they missed the day and how disappointed she was. MIl not to be the one laying low snapped back at him “When my son comes in, it’s a festival. The calendar does not dictate me. So what if the world went past this date, he is here now and the celebrations start now. My happiness and the day is linked with his presence not by your Sun and Moon.”

Those were some fine lines. Nothing new, innovative or grand, extremely simple yet drives home quite the point. Most moms have said these and moms will continue to say it, I know I feel that way with my son.

Boy, I went on a trip there.

Anyways, yes, Happy Deepavali to all. We celebrate tomorrow coz my little munchkin is getting to become 100% alright from a viral, my son and daughter do not have any activity scheduled, and I have time to grocery shop and hopefully make a decent traditional meal, and end it with fireworks saved over from July 4th.

Enjoy :)

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15 thoughts on “happy deepavali 07

  1. rads, that’s awful – the staying away part, I mean. But at least you had three honeymoons – every time he visited.

    We’re celebrating tomorrow also since it’s convenient to us. And God wouldn’t mind offerings of maple-walnut bars rather than burfi and halwa, I think.

    And he definitely wouldn’t have a problem with certain people “not being home” either, if you know what I mean.

  2. “When my son comes in, it’s a festival.”
    – so true. Whenever I visit home, it’s the same deal, where mom makes my favorite sweets and insists on serving them as soon as I get there, at 3 am in the morning (I will leave it to you to guess what kind of refreshment/libation jet-lagged-me really wants at that hour ;-))

    BPSK

  3. Just to say this. :-D

    Deepavali is defined as the amaavasya at the beginning of the month of Kaartika (or the end of aasvayuja). Because there’s often no one-to-one correlation between solar (‘dinamu’) and lunisolar days (‘tidhi’), there’s this usual confusion as to which solar-day a lunisolar-festival is. For example, this year, the amaavaasya ‘started’ late yesterday night. Which is why a lot of folk celebrated it yesterday.

    However, I’d say it’s an easier reckoning if you stick to what tidhi occurs at dawn (forgot the exact Sanskrit appellation for that, aparaahaNa vELa?). I find it easier coz I would find it weird to state a certain tidhi at the morning prayers (‘sandhya vandanam’) and then proceed to celebrate quite another tidhi.

    [Also, your MIL’s words would have had a greater impact in the original Telugu, I’m sure. ;-) Somehow, the taaLam is a bit off in English, if you get what I’m saying.]

    deepavaLi subhaakaamkshalu!

  4. Awesome post Rads… Happy Diwali.

    “When my son comes in, it’s a festival.” – Holds good in my family as well. So when I go abck to India this month it will be a big celebration.

    Ho I celebrated my Diwali this morning in office, with 2 samosas & sweet… courtesy: Indian immigrant coworker

  5. Moms are awesome that way, you know? This time she was here, she made sure she made my favorite dish (the one thing she hadn’t made during her time here) on the day that she was leaving because she could not stand to wait until the next time we saw each other, knowing that she’d not made that for me. :-\

  6. Leo: You too! :)

    Metlin: Sweet eh? :) You had a blast tho from what little I get to hear ;)

    Cm-Chap: O I got all dressed up and traipsed around. Was fun! :)
    The husband at work on the other hand partook of this grand desi buffet lunch that their HR catered for the whole company. Cool eh?!

    Cyd garu: Thanksandi :D

    I have a father-in-law who does the translations for us and sends us the Tithilu/nakshatralu for birthdays, festivals a week in advance. We have this calendar published by SSVT.com that changes all dates acc to US latitudes etc, to which he was quite the contributor.
    In any case yes :)

    Telugu dialogulu chaala chaala ghaatuga untayi. Vintara? :D

    Bpsk: I am pretty sure I can guess :D

    Baph: I surpise myself occasionally :)

    TAAMom: lol, couldn’t stop :)

    Terri: Absolutely@staying away.

    We are at home too, no potlucks or dinners to go to. Decided we’d stay in. Feels good. :)

  7. rads:

    nice post. deepavali is never the same outside india, and inside india too, it is not the same anymore either :-(, based on deepavali 2001 and 2002 that we celebrated in bengalooru.

    re: food at work, i envy your husband. we have this potluck planned for next week, and guess what my vegetarian colleagues are bringing?! paper plates, that’s what! i will be armed with my normal lunch box, lest i should fill my tummy with the only “vegetarian item” there (other than our own cooking, of course) – aka desserts!

    – s.b.

  8. Orchid: Just stock up at July 4th. Most folks do that. Wrap it in a safe box, and store it in the garage. Costco has some good collections during the summer.
    I am not sure around your area, but we have a few places a bit out in the country that sell fireworks year round. It depends on state laws and such.
    But buying 4 months ahead of time seems best now :)

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