was that me?

Our weekend was quite hectic and busy, nothing new for a family of 5 but it was quite eventful. Apart from the rants and the usual crazy stuff I do or get involved in, I did something that’s very unlike me. So unlike me that I spent all dinner and all of my reading time in bed thinking about it. In flashes.
So what did I do?

The story goes like this

Sunday evening after making dinner, I realized that I’d forgotten to set the curds and since it was still 8ish and the husband was out mowing the lawn, the kids were sweating out at the hoop, I decided I had time to do a quick run to the grocery to pick up yougurt along with veggies and like. Though it was summer break and the school was out, I wasn’t on vacation. So the necessary stuff to help me the entire week had to be done. My heels were hurting and I was in a particularly crabby mood. there were other factors that contributed, but I’ll save that for another post.

So ran through the list, and hauled them all out to the sidewalk. I passed a smartly dressed lady. White capris, lime green sleeveless polo, groomed hair, stylish glasses perched on top of a wide forehead, sharp nose and she looked brown. She looked familiar and I did a double-take with a hint of a smile in case she recognized me. She stared back at me, so I walked my merry way past her, parked the cart and was crossing the road to the parking lot when she called out for me

‘excuse me, can I ask you something?’

‘yea, sure’

‘can you give me a ride?’

‘am sorry, I did’nt hear you’ [I so heard her, but was pretty sure I heard her wrong]

‘I said can you give me a ride’


‘I live just around the Acura dealership. ‘

‘oh am sorry, but I have to go the other way.’

‘oh ok. fine. ‘


‘that’s ok.’

I feel my ears become hot as I hurry to my car, load groceries and drive past the Acura dealership to my home to serve dinner with the fresh store-bought yogurt that my kids don’t like, but as a true-blooded southie, we can’t not have something cool to wash down our curries!


I once walked for 45 mts around our community holding an elderly lady’s shivering hand to find her son’s home. She’d ventured out for a walk and got lost a good 30 mts before she saw me in the lawn and decided to ask for help. It 10.45 on a hot summer Sunday morning. She was scared and upset. She thanked me with tears when we did find her son’s home, only to find the daughter-in-law settled in watching Sun TV.
Random stuff like that.


I have trouble saying ‘no’. Huge trouble.
..and I refused to help a lady with 5 bags of groceries.

The husband says Ive become a snob, but I don’t agree. It’s bothering me like crazy.


19 thoughts on “was that me?

  1. I too have a huge trouble saying ‘no’. But I have and it later bothers me since I did so for no valid reason. I guess you can always make it up with another random kind act.

    I have and could never say a ‘no’ to my near and dear ones though.

  2. Rads, I assume you said “no”, cose you feared the motive of that lady when she asked for a ride. Plus she was not elderly, but in good shape to walk or hail a cab. And you didn’t know her. Period.
    I think it was a sensible thing that you did, hai na?

  3. upsi – it was weird. Now that I think back, maybe my instincts worked sub-consc. These days it’s just plain hard to trust anyone without backing. Something I am learning. Rather forcefully i might add. :(

    Leo – exactly!

    We really need to find that balance u know.. and am sure we will, just when is the question :)

  4. Simple logic. That old woman couldn’t do any harm. But this lady, who knows what motive she has. I think you reacted normally.

    I am sure you wouldn’t have thought twice before helping if this lady were 80 years old

  5. tdna – I suppose it is simple, and logical. It’s just that I didn’t hesitate, which is funny.

    In any case not give folks the impression am all “good”, I have a bit o bad in me, and it is in direct relation to how the cards are dealt. :)

  6. schmetter – no idea, she looked brown, but she could be form anywhere. No accent I could place.

    Why’s it bothering me?
    1. someone asked for help and I said no.
    Thats why :)

    Not anymore. Am cool, and chillin as WH put it ;-))

    WH – Been awhile!! How are you?

    apt name for the site. Will add you to the list, though am a borderline geek, just love geeks thatsall :D

  7. Wow! When did you post this. I have been checking your blog at least twice a day and I discover it with 12 comments!

    Well it was totally wrong what you did. I would have totally done the opposite. From your account—a hot, sexy Indian woman asks you for a ride. And you turn it down!

    I am sorry Rads you will suck at being a guy:).

  8. OK – maybe refresh would help. I don’t think I blocked you :p

    lol, am glad am not a guy. It’s so much more fun being a woman. :))

  9. “It’s so much more fun being a woman. :))”

    That is a random statement. How would you know? Unless you have been a guy before, how can you tell?

    You too feminist? cha!

  10. kiddo – coz you just are not. It’s like speaking into a vaccuum by commenting on your blog :p

    lol@feminist. hmm.. nope. No am so not :)

  11. Ah well, maybe something’s wrong with me then. More often than not, it’s about the things I feel like doing. If I don’t feel like doing someone a favor, I just don’t. But I’ve just gotten this way. And I totally blame it on a five year relationship filled with all kinds of compromises and sob filled stories where I’d changed into this door mat. Having put that behind me, I guess I do feel the need to just do whatever the hell pleases me.
    But on an asside, yes, somewhere deep within myself, I might twitch cardiac muscles for not having helped someone I could. Especially if they needed it. I’m sure that’s a woman thing though. As is the one odd misbehavior. It keeps us spirited :)

  12. Schmetterling – am glad you found yourself.
    lol@cardiac muscle twitch. yeah, let’s just blame it on the X chromosome and enjoy the ride. :))

    note to self – must send this post into the archives asap!

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