rebound

*on reading this again, it reads like chicken soup for a mom’s soul, and it’s long, so beware. :–)

***

After a particularly bad afternoon feeling crappy and so many of you being such nice souls and providing some much needed kind words, I came home to an extremely conflicting schedule. Daughter had her Band recital precisely overlapping Son’s basketball all-star championship game. Husband had forgotten the schedule and I had 35 minutes to make a snack to sustain us all till 9pm when dinner can magically was to land on our plates, and shuttle them to their individual places.

After the daughter got into her uniform - which is quite smart btw, nice long black skirt, white long sleeved shirt with a maroon cummerbund and a black bowtie, that warranted a “ooo, akka, you look so pretty” from munchkin, I managed to stuff half a fajita down her throat before we rushed out to her school 20 minutes before showtime as scheduled. Came back home, stuffed another fajita and a glass of milk down son’s throat, a yogurt into munchkin’s [she's been stealthily hoarding up on cheetos sitting in the corner of the couch hidden from all], tried to convince son that wearing a bright yellow shirt under a bright robin blue jersey with black shorts was nothing short of screaming for attention on a grayed basketball court, only to get a reply “Of course I want everyone to watch me play, I rock!”.

The plan was to watch daughter play her flute in first chair for 15 minutes and then drive out to son’s game who also had to be 30 minutes ahead of time. Husband was to pick up daughter at the end of her recital and then head to the game.

Band, Orchestra and String concerts are part of the spring mania that takes over this time of the year at all local schools. As part of the county’s curriculum [and I am sure all of United States], all kids, starting from 3rd grade have to choose a musical instrument and learn the notes and well, play it. It’s the best thing ever. Fantastic!

The daughter started off with Viola for 3 years and then 2 years since is playing the Flute. The son has been playing the Viola for 3 years now. As with different levels of mastery over a talent, the county and schools offer opportunities for the kids to race ahead based on their interest. With increasing challenges come increasing commitments of interest, time and most importantly practice sessions. Based on the kind of instrument, the kids are divided up into different groups. Strings is obviously string instruments, and Band would have the rest, along with percussions. As they grow older, they merge and re-arrange based on a whole bunch of stuff I am clueless about. The interesting part is this is one area where I don’t have to say a word. They like their choices and enjoy spending time in the evenings locked in their rooms, as the notes and music fill the house.

The daughter plays in the Band. She got the coveted first chair, which means she’d worked her way up from 4th chair at the beginning of the year. There were at least 12 different instruments that various 12 year olds were perched on. Saxophone, flute, drums, and more. I have been attending concerts such as these since they were in 3rd grade. All 3rd, 4th, 5th graders get together to put up this show a few times in the year. Holidays, Spring and then the Annual one. Everytime I listen to these concerts, I choke. Everytime. The music these little kids are capable of creating in unison is nothing short of divine. Music, I believe is overpowering even to the tone deaf. In symphony, it creates a wave within you, while you watch serious intent 8, 9, 10 year olds with so much concentration and excitement watch their notes and follow the hands of their music teacher to start, stop and pick up on cue as they flood the entire hall and the parents with what is, really, their own.

For obvious reasons the older they get, the more commanding, powerful and intricate the music pieces get. The pieces range according to the season; fun, serious, playful, deep and even dark. All dressed in white shirts and black pants/skirts, they look like miniatures of the professionals we admire. Their music is no less. When the final long difficult piece is done, there is a moment of hush in the audience before it resounds with claps and cheers. Encores are not uncommon during the holidays, while parts of the audience sings along. Music teachers are awe-worthy.

I couldn’t stay till the end and rushed out to another local school that housed the championship basketball game. basketball’s been the sport of the home since 1st grade. Both kids have been playing it for 6-7 years now and enjoy it tremendously. The way it works is this, our area is divided into counties. Each county will have a set of leagues. Each league will have at least 8-12 teams based on coaches availability and kids enrolled. The coaches are all volunteer dads and moms who commit to couple of hours a week to train the 10 individuals to become a team. So through the season, each team will practice and face off one other team over a Saturday game and keep score and tally to finally be the winner of each league. 2 players will be selected out of each team to go forth and form the All-Star team. All-Star teams from different leagues battle out for the championship. Two players are again chosen to represent the county.

The daughter has played for the county the last 2 years and the son’s been an All-star for 3 years now. I’ve tried to go cheer for their teams as much as I can, but since munchkin it’s become a bit difficult to attend almost all, and there are days when the schedules overlap that the husband and I are forced to drive different directions with a kid in tow. The daughter used to be gentle and ladylike intially, almost to the point that if some bigger girl stood in her face she’d say “here, take the ball” to being nick-named “elbow” - yes, she actually elbows out opponents and is not scared of fouls. The turnaround happened somewhere a few years ago when to get her to be more aggressive the husband suggested her to pretend that every player on the opposing team was her brother. It worked! Son of course dreams, eats, breathes basketball, so apart from his knees troubling him this season as he put on 4 inches over the summer, the guy pummels and owns the court. Being the tallest 11 year old helps.

Yesterday’s game was nail-biting. Boys games usually are. Well, actually this season the daughter’s team had some strong players and it did get vicious, but for the most part, while girls games are “sneaky” and ridden with “steals” including tears and drama, boys are fast-paced, high-scoring, tons of fouls and injuries. So what’s new eh? :–)

Though we live in an area that has high desi and asian population, games are usually the domain of the whites and blacks. You’d see very few asians making it up the ladder, and I have no idea why! We on the other hand rule in the geek squad area - MathCounts, MathOlympiads, LegoLeagues and Chess. In a sea of whites and blacks, I was the lone desi jumping up and down. The 1st quarter was a disaster for our team and then the tide turned, and baskets kept happening through the 2nd and 3rd quarter. The dodges, steals, rebounds, and fouls layered on each other on both sides. Obviously the two were the strongest in the area and each edged over the other by single points. Since it was the final game of the league, the school gym was packed with folks other than the immediate families of the boys playing. There was a whole lot of cheering and screaming to boost morale, which really as most players and spectators know can do wonders to the spirit of the team. Apart from just one injury when one kid got hit in the groin [I know, the poor chap!] the boys continued on with gusto, cheering and hi-fi’ing on the court.

Sports like music is an all-time leveler. The boys knew each other only for the past 2 weeks as each came from different teams, and despite that the team spirit and the coach’s enthusiasm was palpable. We lost by one point despite making a basket in the last 30 seconds, and the score drew at 46-45, a score that’s actually quite low for the team. Goes to prove that it was a tough game.

Came home tired, hoarse and hungry, but happy.

Rebounds are good. Even in basketball.

 

weekend - Check!

 

fll - yesss!

The daughter and her team walked home from the regional First Lego league competition that took place all day today, with the 1st place in Project Presentation and overall 3rd place in the Division 2 [Middle School level]!

I am so excited, I am typing so bad!! 

The school’s done extremely well and among the 4 different areas of participation

1. Project Presentation
2. Robot Design
3. Robot Performance
4.  Teamwork 
…they’ve aced among the top 3 slots this year!  Awesome!

The daughter’s team is a rookie team with robotics. None of the 7 kids have had any experience with robots, legos, or programming, and they’d put in lots of effort including the coach to reach today. The daughter had a substantial role in putting the performance together and am bursting with pride here with the maturity and responsibility she shows at the hour of need. To hear glowing reports from the coach does things to a mom’s ego. :-) 
I’d earlier written briefly about the team here. They will be heading to Harrisonburg for the State competition early December. 

Reminds me of the excitement we went through while winning Odyssey last couple of years. While Odyssey is all about out-of-the-box thinking, First lego league is the other extreme to have to stick to rules and stretch limits within it. 
Half of this team were also part of Odyssey team and it was indeed a challenge initially for them to curb the wild thoughts and come through for this round, but they did it anyway.

Celebrations all around indeed!  

 

les petites histoires

My last potpourri’s comments section is the inspiration to this post. It is long, and you have been warned. :-)

***

11 little stories. Real life paths that a group of bright, dreamy young adults embarked on. Some managed to hold on, some faltered, some moved on. A summary on each and perhaps, lessons learned for all:

Back in the early 90’s, many teens in a certain part, went through a huge dilemma and were forced to decide to choose paths almost 2 years before their predecessors. They were not given the opportunity to have the luxury of dabbling their feet in both physical and life sciences for the earlier established 2 years. None of them could play safe. Each had to decide then which stream they’d decide to pursue for the rest of their life and stick with it. The irony of such a decision would only hit them much later.
Among the rest, this is the story of a group of young adults who went through a particularly fascinating program - new by all counts, supported by the faculties at Berkeley and John Hopkins, they were hand-selected out of numerous applicants. All had scored beyond 96% in their high school boards and slipped in the crack between reservations and grades. Ones whom regular Universities would accept, while they could’nt quite make the cut because of where they were born into. A fault not of their own by any long shot. Making it into this premier organisation’s new school was like an exciting beautiful adventure for them as no one had done this program before, in India, ever. Aspirations, dreams, hopes climbed swiftly as each trimester tumbled into another, and as each novel subject was absorbed, filed and stored. Pride that they were following the footsteps of one of the finer medical institutions both in India, and outside, and waiting eagerly to create a mark of their own once they graduate.

What follows is a then and now scenario:
Then: Final Year of Internship.
Now: 14 years later

KK:
Then: Coming from a Tamil medium, he hated the program. Was completely lost the few semesters and almost dropped out to go back to do a Physics program at a small local college. Hard-working and after an attitude shift, is and was the most sweetest kind helpful person the girls found as a friend. Not the brightest in the group, but he showed genuine interest and concern to patients.
Ambition: get a regular job at the hospital and continue life in the suburbs.
Now: After sticking to a Ph.D program at the institution, he now heads the school he graduated from. Yes, he is the Principal.
Kudos!

VS:
Then: Arrogant, nerd. Snobbish because of his background as the son of doctor parents, he trudged through the program only because he knew he could go back home and settle into his parents cushy practice. Pedantic, and not the least helpful.
Ambition: Join the family practice, maybe go to UK, get some more degrees behind his name.
Now: Went back home, joined a private medical school with his mom’s help, is now practicing Opthalmology in one of the numerous little clinics dotting Mumbai.
But of course!

SD:
Then: Fun, smart intelligent girl. Loved life, music, fun. Hovered in her own space and laidback.
Ambition: Perhaps Australia if there was a scholarship, get a kick-ass job at one of the new multi-nationals setting shop then, and eventually get married after delaying the event as much as possible.
Now: Worked a bit at the hospital, had fun, is now settled into Texan suburbian bliss with a doctor husband and a toddler. An occasional guilt spasm keeps her awake at nights, but nothing that a nap wouldn’t cure the next day.
Fun Indeed!

SK:
Then: Pretty young thing and she knew it. She’d bat her lashes at the new interns and would drink pepsi for lunch, so she could work on her calories for the day. Smart too and would work both her brain and her body to get inside scoops on lectures, diagnoses, the works. Nice at heart if one could look beyond what she strutted.
Ambition: Professional program at USA. Rope a handsome doc. Eventually leave India.
Now: Married to a Tall-dark-Handsome-Mills and Boon-hero-S’pore desi, finished the program at Auckland with her parents as support and has a flourishing practice in NZ. Occasionally sends condescending, damsel-in-distress mails to anyone who is willing to listen.
All encompassing Diva!

GK:
Then: Quite the cookie, stood first in a couple of subjects state-wide. Extremely fun and lovely person. Always helpful, considerate and nimble with her fingers in the exam room. A little diffident on her looks, and defensive in that regard.
Ambition: Australia. Only kid so wanted a guy who’d let them all live together.
Now: married down to a fellow coz no guy in her community would agree to her single condition. 1 Kid. Last seen braving a smile and thirsting for a challenging conversation.
Could have done so much better

PP:
Then: Came in with a lot of baggage after having lost her dad when she was 7. Always stressed and hyper-active, not many liked her. Focused on achieving independance and respect in a community that didn’t look too kindly to girls who wanted to have a career. Not the brightest in the class, she didn’t care as long as she trudged along fine. Always in a hurry to achieve her next step.
Ambition: Get a steady paying job, assert herself, and hopefully get married to a guy who’d admire and respect her, and have 3 kids. Very specific she was. Loved ‘em.
Now: Heads a school in Mumbai, flourishing practice, a google search leads to 5 pages of her name, jets around the world giving lectures and presentations, married to a spineless, strange fellow who does not satisfy her emotionally or physically. She yearns for kids that he refuses. Won’t divorce as it would kill her mom but is emotionally attached to a colleague who cares.
Sad, but you go girl!

DP:
Then: Simple. Had issues with parents. Hugely distracted with all possible distractions a teen could ever succumb to. Got involved with nefarious dudes and went though a bad patch. Not scholarly, smart, or intelligent.
Ambition: Whatever.
Now: Parents got her married to a guy who turned out to be useless and sucked onto her for support. After a year of crap, she divorced him and moved to the middle east, focused on her work, earned enough to put herself through school in Boston. A colleague followed her and after convincing for 3 yrs is now married to her. They both practice together in Georgia. Happy, content and successful.
Awesome stuff!

TN:
Then: Very strange. She had huge emotional issues and would throw a tantrum in a moment’s notice. There were signs of physical abuse, and at times could be seen talking to herself. Pedantic and quite the worrier.
Ambition: Marry and get the hell out of her house.
Now: Established into a large group practice, and has gotten her 2 younger sisters settled. Single. I believe she still talks to herself, but at least she’s not with her parents. Refuses all communications with friends.
Tragic.

SR:
Then: Smart, fun-loving and intelligent. Worked hard occasionally. Had loads of fun along with SD and was quite the favorite with the docs for she made quite the diagnostician. Considered dorky, she had only her wit and the positive attitude in life to compensate for her looks, or rather the lack of it. Rallied forces and spearheaded the whole group to take the GRE, TOEFL, the passports, the applications.
Ambition: USA. The ultimate program.
Now: Whole lot of INS complications led her to travel and stay farther and longer till she finally reached US kids in tow. Couldn’t pursue a full time program she yearned and bagged the I-20’s for. Settles into doing a completely different subject, puts herself through a part-time graduate program, and now works in that alternate field. Still harbors notions of the white coat.
Good, but could’ve done better.

JV:
Then: Focused, responsible, goal-oriented, bright girl. Lived in the hostel, kept to herself, shrewd and not the bit least helpful.
Ambition: USA. Earn Money.
Now: Got lucky by getting married to a software engineer on H1, who also happened to live 2 miles from the school she applied, got in, graduated and is now practicing in Michigan. 2 kids. Happy and content.
No surprise at all, good for her.

KL:
Then: Brilliant of the lot. Exceptionally talented, creative and sharp. Could beat any senior ophthalmologist hollow while doing a differential. Lived in the hostel and got more freedom than she bargained for. Tangled with the wrong crowd, grades dropped massively, didn’t get admission into any of the 13 schools in the US that offer the study.
Ambition: USA.
Now: Settled into marriage with a guy who followed her around all 4 years of school, 2 kids. Her eyes have lost the sparkle. No amount of coaxing, cheering, motivation can get her to act on herself. Has not held a job at all. Little consolation that the marriage seems firm.
Frustrating, and sad.

***

These are real life stories of ones I went to school/undergrad with.

When I judged Chiranjeevi’s daughter [frankly, I couldn't care for the hoopla and the tabloids] I was being generic on the age and the whole act of it. Sure, it’s anyone’s life and what they do with it is really none of my beeswax, but it’s really hard not to look at the bigger picture and use one’s experience to be able to draw conclusions. To look at someone make a complete ass of themselves and not do a thing about it. Being 19-20-21 years old is a precious span of time in a person’s life. It only makes it even more poignant when some of us are forced to lament on missed opportunities and time in retrospect.  

I firmly believe in getting your act together and focus on what’s essential at each stage in life. Education. I just think once you have that down nailed pat, the rest can take its time and follow suit. At least the ammunition is there if you ever want to use it.

In any case, this post is a tangential thought process that the comments made me go on. It doesn’t of course address the issue I had or some of the readers had nor does it aim to provide answers to society’s and young minds.

Makes for some retrospective thinking. At least it did for me.

 

the trap(p)s at wolftrap

Every year Wolftrap hosts an International Children’s Festival during the fall - a weekend of fun, arts, dances and the like. For the past 3 years the kids have performed to showcase Indian dances amongst the rest. This year, we decided to take a break and the daughter volunteered to be part of the FLL team that also plants booths in the Arts and Technology side of the festival.

So we joined a few others in her team to spread the word on Robotics and the joy it brings to the ones who build the robot, and then program it to do a set of activities. Since the boys in her team are quite tongue-tied, she and the only other girl on the team were roped in to be the spokespersons.

As by now it’s a given that nothing goes smooth when I embark on a “project”, here’s what happened..

You’d think having spent my whole US life in the area and the fact that Wolftrap is really just around the corner and that I go there every year quite like a pilgrimage, I could drive there with my eyes closed. That’s where I have the curse of the ramp on me.

As is always the case, there are a few different ways to reach a point, and I choose one way, and invariably I lose an exit or VDOT decides to change highways around or am just so focused on my music that I land in a completely different part of town. Every (4) time! It’s funny innit?

Well, the 1st time was when I conveniently watch it go past coz the husband said 2 miles, and who knew 2 miles lands within a minute(?!) did a detour and landed on the other side only to discover that exit 15 only comes northbound! It was exasperating and I landed 5 minutes short of the performance.

The 2nd time, I kept staring at the sign and shot past it. Nope, can’t blame the husband but I did yell at the kids in the backseat. They took it good-naturedly and we had to drive through million dollar homes, and lush winding slopey roads to arrive at the back of the Barns.  Huffed and puffed our way up with the help of the guy at the post.

The 3rd year, it was raining cats and dogs and since I knew I was going to mess up anyway, I was extremely alert and yet managed to do a daredevil stunt and cross medians and took the exit. Very bad of me, but I didn’t get lost!

This morning I was animatedly discussing something with the daughter  and yes, shot past the exit. I didn’t realize it till she started laughing. This is the toll road, so everytime I lose an exit, I pay heavily, with quarters. Quite amusing I tell you!

There’s another story with toll. I hate throwing the change into that little bin they have from the car. I always always lose some part of the change, and then there’s some bozo behind me who’s in an extreme hurry and would start honking at the flustered lady who can’t toss a coin in straight! I tend to take the SUV and usually gravity helps there, but the car is really annoying to me. The height just doesn’t cut it and I quite feel like I am on the floor. Anyways, so yes, lost a  quarter to the angle at which my left arm could fling, and annoyed the daughter since she was saving the Nebraska quarter and had to part with it.

Today I had some time to run around all by myself [ah the joy!] and managed to catch a few nice dances and activities, met a few dozen folks I knew and hobnobbed an hour. Ended it with the cha-cha slide, [click here for some really cute kids doing the cha cha] before I returned home.

Apart from the occasional gray sky and humid weather, which truly made me feel sorry for some of the performers, there was lots of laughter, kids, strollers, some serious techy kids along with some equally serious dancing ones! Those Flamenco dancers from Spain were hot! As in perspiring yet managing to look cool and very sexy!

Enjoy!

 

calling all solvers

Yesterday we were at the back to school night at my daughter’s middle school. I need to dedicate a whole post on the 2.30 hours we spent there as we retraced her steps she takes through the day, but this was something we were hit with as soon as we entered. Being the good samaritan that I am and not wanting to rob you all of the pleasure of it, here I am sharing it with you all.

Her 1st period of study is Alegbra I Honors. This is a 9th grade course that she qualified after a couple of standardized tests taken during last year, to do in 7th grade. She came home the 1st day of school and told me:

“Oh, Ms. R is horrid. I hate her”

“Okay! why? Is she strict?” I knew she was anyway from the grapevine.

“She’s just terrible Mom, you should see the rubric she gave us and then she talks like she’s joking, but she’s really completely insulting you, so we actually don’t know if we should smile or act sad. Ugh!”

“O cmon, she’s just laying down rules, you’d be fine in a few days”

“Uh-uh, I don’t think so. She’s just mean and gets perverse pleasure out of making you squirm” she scoffed and walked off.

Last night I had to agree.

As soon as we hobbled into a windowless room full of NY Giants memorabilia [she's a NYorker and loves football] and settled into a chair, we were asked to go back out and slap a ‘parent of Jane doe’ label on us, and pick up a few sheets on the curriculum. [she almost barked at a couple who sauntered in late and told them "you need to follow instructions!']

Then she turned on the projector and here’s what we saw. We had all of 5 minutes to figure it out, write it down and if we got it right, our kid would get a homework pass. And then she says “o, I won’t tell you the answer, coz then you’d go tell the rest of the parents. If it’s any consolation, very few get it right!’

Sure, that helps.

Problem:

The following shapes form a sequence. Determine what shape comes next in sequence. All possible answers are listed on the bottom, and an explanation must accompany your choice.

Sequence:

Oval, Square, Hexagon, Heptagon, Octagon, ____?____

Choices

Pentagon, Hexagon, Heptagon, Octagon, Nonagan, Decagon

:

 No cheating! :twisted:

I’ve enabled comment moderation and answers hopefully will be revealed in the comments and I shall post them tomorrow morning at 9 am EST. Good luck!