good, bad and the ugly

2007’s been a mixed bag. Lots of good and as with good, comes the bad and the ugly.

• Good that I found a perfect career match - one I enjoy, where I am liked and valued. Bad coz I have to drive a distance and that does have its stressful moments. 
• Good that I lost the munchkin related 23 pounds. Worked a sweat at the gym and the dance floor. Have more to go, but these days I can actually look at naked me in the mirror without wincing. No bad to that!
• Good that the husband and I have found each other again. In certain fun areas. Very good all the way.
• Good that the daughter, son and munchkin have adjusted well to my leaving home. Bad that I miss not being home and they miss me still [despite it being a year] when they come home in the evenings.
• Good that the daughter and I are becoming friends. Bad because everyone who calls, thinks she sounds like me on the phone. A very bad thing according to her! Apparently looking like me was hard enough.
• Very bad that son and I are going through major traumatic moments at home. Good thing he still is a baby and I can hug our fights away.
• Very good thing is that munchkin’s doing some pretty cool stuff and learning tons of new talents. Bad thing is she occasionally exhibits 3 going on 13 dialogs and behaviors. A little unsettling or hugely comical depending on my mood at that point.
• Good that I found a kinship with a couple of cousins. Bad that the rest are tomato-truck bumpkins. Can’t condone laziness.
• Good that I made a few really really good pals. Online translating to real. Three especially come to mind as they stood by me during the hour of need.  Extremely good stuff that is.
• Bad that at least one of the pals I’d made has turned into a nemesis of sorts. Good thing I found out. Even better thing is I’ve learnt to say ‘Scr*w you’ and not miss a heartbeat saying it. Ugly is that the person is oblivious to what has been lost. Small mercies is the hope that the person may never know.
• Good that I have found my self-esteem and my pride’s back exactly where it belongs. Bad that I let someone else control me for a short period. Even better that I respect myself even more.
• Bad that I started the year with a betrayal -Nemesis V1 and ended it with another - Nemesis V2. Good that I have learnt to value my trust and not squander it away more than what I already have. Even better is that I have forgiven me and as a result am kinder to myself.
• Bad that both nemeses thought they knew what was best for me. Good thing is that I’ve told each of them off. Even better is that the mind is free and sleep is as satisfying as a mango flavored rasmalai right after a spicy bhel. 
• Good that for the sakes of the after-school programs that I believe in, volunteered my time, effort and pulled together teams going forth. Bad that despite having no vested interest, it is a thankless job. Especially bad since there’s always one over-zealous parent who kicks up a storm without lifting a pinkie. Good that I resigned. Reactions were reward enough.

Lessening un-necessary baggage, focusing on quality and improving life. That’s the mantra for 2008.

 

A scholar for a dollar

Education has always been priority. It would always be for most of us who come from modest beginnings back home where it’s dinned into our head that we are nothing if we are not capable of a decent degree. A consequent pride in the knowledge that’s either ingrained or gained from hours of pouring over books and the speed at which we are able to reproduce facts and figures. A school of thought (no pun intended) where it is told to you a zillion times that the letters behind your name is what defines you. Especially if you are a girl. As was the case in our family.

I, for one am fortunate to have gotten my more than fair share of knowledge that comes out of a rigid curriculum and also to be able to explore to a certain extent of what excited me and what perhaps I could later on build a figment of a career. Some was thrusted on me, some I accepted willingly, but fortunate enough I was to have had that opportunity, to at least have tried. I think back and indeed there are no regrets, just unfinished dreams.

But then again, I look at articles and appeals like these, and I am ashamed that I even complain.

Moving west has in fact de-sensitized most of us to the actual state of many children in various pockets of India who are struggling with learning, struggling with not having the ability to dream and dream big. For many parents who want to see their kids get ahead of them by just 1 measly step. To not work the same fields they do, to not bear the same load they are, to be able to sleep well at night and not wonder if there would be a square meal the next day.

I think back on the few times my dad and us individually and as a whole have helped in small ways the various children, orphans and young men and women who accosted us on the streets and home with an ernest appeal to part with a little cash to further them in their climb towards freedom and independance.

My dad was big on studies. Having spent most of his youth bailing out his siblings without enrolling in a proper school/college while his dad forsake the family fortune and time behind freedom struggle and leaders alike. The value he placed on his sacrifices and his youth broke free with his undying passion for all things scholarly, and pedantic which later on provided the impetus for him to be where he is today. For us, his daughters to be where we are today. He is a self-made man and I am proud of whatever little I have inherited from him. What I also am amused is how much of a chord it strikes in me when I am hit by such appeals. He would always go out of his way and spare a bit of cash or buy a book for the fellow in need, even despite not having much to spare. In a very simlar vein, I feel strongly about wanting to help folks who deserve it. To go that extra mile when it comes to want to be a part of someone’s future. I’d rather help long-term than providing short-term happiness as in the next meal, a shirt that he’d outgrow, or a home that he might just leave or be driven from.

Today is Teacher’s day. Back home, while it was a day when we’d get together and put a skit for them, treat them and basically not study. It was a holiday of sorts, to goof off with all permissions intact. After I left school, I’d think back fondly on some of the ones who did make an impact on my life.

Ms. Susan John’s elegance, and how she made Biology the most exciting thing ever for me.
Ms. Rajyam’s strictness while dealing with Math, and how I was in awe that she could provide answers from the top of her head, and do the logic in thin air.
Ms. Rao’s undying love for Hindi poetry and the thrill with which she discovered that I did have a flair for it after all.
Ms. Mathews keen ear and sophisticated taste for English lessons and literature.
Ms. Vishalam’s way of relating all things Physics to life. How much I’d hated it up until she made me do a whole project on Optics, and who knew, I’d actually major in that?
Ms. Brinda’s who was more like a friend to me than a teacher. We could talk about boys, periods, and sex, all during Library and she’d explain it all with patience and clarity.

DR. LG, Dr. GS, Dr. SKR, Dr. KRS, Dr. BS, DR. SG, and a few more whom I admire. Brilliance and wisdom rolled into one as each shared with me little snippets of themselves while I skipped through 4 years of school.

I’ve wanted to be like each of them in a little way possible.

Ms. Susan’s elegance, Dr. GS’s calm, Dr. LG’s depth of things neuro-ophthalmic, Dr. SKR’s knack of differential diagnosis, Ms. Vishalam’s mothering, Ms. Brinda’s art of staying friends with anyone irrespective of age differences, and not the very least, my own dad’s spirit and zeal that he carries on no matter the odds and walls he runs into.

So when a friend sent me a mail asking me to see what best I could do, I agreed right away. As a tribute to ones who did help me become part of who I am, and also in my small way to give back to the community and being instrumental in perhaps forging a kids’ dream through helping the teachers. AidIndia is a worthy organisation and apart from having a friend who’s actively involved in the Boston area and back in India as well, I have regard and trust in the way they run things.

To drive home the point, watch this video, and come back here! [Don't ask why i couldn't embed, it just didnt work for me!]

Now tell me you didn’t smile and you didnt reflect back on your own days of wearing crisp cotton uniform and doing PE exercises, of covering notebooks with brown paper/newsprint, of being scared of the teacher’s hand/eye, the exam-fear.
Now tell me you don’t want to share that with scores of other kids out there.

I clicked on this link and made a small contribution of what I could afford now.

So what would you like to equate your contribution to?

A pizza dinner?
That cool golf bag you’ve been eyeing?
Tickets to the opera?
A ball Game
A wii?
An iphone?
Pink snazzy heels?

It doesn’t matter what you did, as long as you did take out that little plastic card and typed in the numbers.

Thanks y’all :)

 

am such a loser

I wake up this morning to a whole dress size smaller!

woohoo!! didn’t realize losing could be so much fun. Oh yes, need a new wardrobe now ;-)
Yayy!

 

happiness unbound

Something really cool happened at work this afternoon. I was made a lead in part of the project we are working on. It’s probably more for organizational purposes, but I was chosen for some reason, and that’s awesome enough for me.

Ecstatic is underplaying it!
The whole thing sunk in as I drove home [that's when the bulbs flash in my head!] and am so happy I could cry!

It’s not been easy letting go of medical jargon and diagnoses and accepting logic puzzlers and languages that made no sense to me. It was indeed a sense of accomplishment when I finally graduated from the U with a degree I’d put in oodles of hard work, but where my heart truly wasn’t in. It’s been a rocky path alright, so it does feel extra sweet and special when I am being recognized for my contributions.

so yayy to me.

p s - I am not bragging, just plain happy. It feels soooo good, that I’ve been doing the happy dance all the way home and instead of switching off the burning daal on the stove, am grinning like a cheshire cat and typing away furiously! :-)

p p s - More on TANA soon. Ive got so much to write, am a little clueless on where to start!

 

improving life?

Not too original a post but came across this article on this week’s US News.

It’s a list of 50 different ways to make a difference - in your physical, mental health, and the surroundings. I had a whole 30 minutes before the sidekicks woke up, so in an interesting introspective exercise ran through the list. Just to see if I was a little ahead of the game and what seemed to be ranked intelligently according to the “experts”

Here’s the list and my take

• Get Happy - That’s a stumbler right there. No, no, I am happy, but it’s an insurmountable task, to be at peace all the time with your frustrations and victories alike!

• Work Out Harder - Yes, I need to up that a bit. Weekly dancing is good enough for the soul, but after my recent upheavals with health and it’s effect on the body, kicking up the intensity surely is worth it.

• Lose the Shoes - I hardly wear heels. Simple, it’s frikkin hard to find good quality, affordable, wide shoes that are stylish. Fashion comes with a price, and I am willing to let go a few dollars worth for soem comfort, but no walking on heels is torturous as I am one of teh “lucky” few who have in built heels!

• Eat at Home - hmm.. We do definitely do a weekly dinner outing. Lunches are so-so, soemtimes I bag, but I do succumb to all the fine eateries around my workplace. Need work.

• Drink White Tea - I have green tea at my disposal at work, and honest to God, it’s an acquired taste. White tea eh? Come January, let me try green and then debate on graduating.

• Get Pretested for Diabetes - This I should. Strong family history there!

• Take Care of Your Contacts - Yea people, don’t sleep in daily wear ones, and if the C/L says 2 week extended it means 14 days, not 21 days. :))

• Book a Passage to Change - Worthwhile

• Join a Reading Club - Yes, need to form one or check the one that’s on at the library.

• Learn a Musical Instrument - True. Maybe an art form - Ive always wanted to see if I could sing, that should qualify?

• Go Tech Free Once a Week - Hard, but do-able.

• Learn Arabic - Okay. I like the sound of it, just donno if I could learn it learn it. I do pick up languages quick, so maybe sometime - back burner.

• Start a Blog - haha, already done that rt? :)

• Rule Your Domain - as in go own your name or culturally significant moniker and register it as a domain for as little as $9. Some other financially savvy author/blogger was also suggesting something similar. I think at the rate we are developing technically and intellectually, advances in science and otherwise am pretty sure we will go beyond the net soon. So in that case does it make a difference stamping your mark on a dot in the whole space especially when there is a hint of a beyond?

• Study the Sky - this is should do. I believe for an investment of $250 you could land yourself an equipment with a GPS installed, so the moment you focus it on a far away speck, the details of the speck is shown to you. Sounds fascinating right? Stars and the sky can only hold this much of your attention if you aren’t a die-hard romantic/dreamer or a self-professed astronomer. Gadgets such as these should be fun toys when the unknown is made a lot more accessible.

• Print Better Photos - Who prints photos these days? I feel terrible saying this, but I don’t have a single print of my munchkin. The other 2 I do, but somehow, my third was born during the digital age, and though we have MB’s of her nothing’s on print.

Note to self - need to get some portraits taken soon.

• Practice Positive Parenting - Toughie. It’s instinctive to lecture, to talk than to listen and to admonish than to understand. To be worked on coz time’s running. Kids don’t stay kids long.

• Write a Family Cookbook - I really really need to do this. My mother-in-law gave my husband a parting gift when he left home to come here 20 years ago. A hand-written recipe book in easy understandable language on how to cook his favorite and easy dishes - for one. He treasures it so much more now that she isn’t around, and I’ve on a few occasions referred to it. Family recipes become heirlooms. At the advent of international cuisines and tastes venturing into the pantry, it’s easy to forget the good old tastes and the pleasures they bring to your mind and tastebuds. The memories are undeniable. I should have started this with my grandma, she cooked some absolute treats for us. Will do this when mom comes over soon. I’d like to gift my daughter something that’s truly mine.

• Teach Your Teen to Drive Safely - Not to worry for another 8 years at least!

• Get a College Rewards Card - Mixed opinions on this one.

• Divorceproof Your Marriage - okay.

• Say No to Travel Teams - My son did qualify for the basketball team, but we opted out. Not just because of the time and effort involved, but more beacause of the hugely competitive nature and the pressure it would be on him. There’s enough going on at school anyways, that games ought to be fun and for enjoyment as a recreation.

• Unplug the TV - We watch an hour a day on an average. Shifting the TV away from the family room is on the agenda for a while now. A friend’s placed her 60″ in the basement. Says “well, if u need to watch TV, you will have to make an effort to take a trip down” Newton’s law aplies :-)

• Take a Road Trip Without DVDs - Yeah, done that.

Think Twice About Doing It Yourself - Done some simple jobs myself and found immense pride in it. Esp the basement’s paints, and the bedroom ones. But set my foot down for the main level, and now parting with $1500 to get it done by a pro. There are some that can be tackled, some best to be left alone. The wisdom in differentiating between the two helps the clueless homeowner.

• Use Angie’s List - an awesome list. Anyone who owns a home need to get their membership.

• Try for a Free Home Makeover - I’ve always wondered how fun it would be to get your home done AND to be on national TV. Odds are high, so we will just enjoy others being embarrassed or alternately smug on bagging such a cool makeover.

• “Stage” Your Home for Higher Profit - One day - maybe, maybe not. You can’t go wrong with apple pie I am told, but nowadays since everyone’s catching on, people are resorting to various other flavors. A store bought fruit pie in a warm oven should do the trick equally well :-)

• Buy Farther Inland - Scary. Very scary.

• Upgrade Your Vacuum Cleaner - Yes, next year. Maybe I will go buy a roomba after all.

• Install Crown Molding - It does create an absolutely elegant look for fraction of the cost. Good investment-addition.

Help Rebuild New Orleans - Getting off my butt and moving myself there is a little difficult for grounded me, but Ive done my share and continue to do so for help bring New Orleans to what it was, maybe better.

• Vote - yes, done that, and look what happened ;-)

• Renovate Your Local Park - Thankfully our local ones are very well maintained. We do pay hefty taxes for nothing.

• Lend a Hand to the Troops - I have some frequent flier miles that I could donate. Definitely could do that much at least.

• Take an Ecovacation - sounds interesting and idealistic. Some time in the future when am hearty enough to do such trips after am an empty-nester.

• Learn About Islam - Most Indians have a fair knowledge of the religion. mainly coz of the proximity and familiarity out of co-existence back home. There’s so much more to it, am sure.

• Do Something About Darfur - Done. Please do your bit. That’s just the minimum. The place is ravaged and images can quite turn your stomach. There’s more to do, all you have to do is look.

• Donate Books to Schools - We make it a point to donate 5 books every year to our school library. Books are a source of imagination, knowledge and hence power. Room to Read is laudable.

• Coach a Youth Sport - Does OM, Chess, Geography bee and dance count?

Drive With Biodiesel - Hmmm..

• Share Your Ride - If I had to I would. many do it, and a single car off the road truly helps.

• Downsize Your Car - I donno…

• Get Rid of Your Leaf Blower - Don’t own one.

• Read Worldchanging: A User’s Guide to the 21st Century - Sounds very interesting. Will see if I can get my hands on it.

• Support Local Farmers - In Summer/ Spring, once a week, we buy an occasional fruit/ veggie at the local farmer market. It’s fresh and fun for us, and some profit for them.

• Turn Off Your Dryer - Half my closet- the desi side of it gets dried on the rack anyway.

• See a Glacier Before It Melts - I really really should do this. With winters touching 60 here, am pretty sure the arctic’s melting soon. If you haven’t watched Al Gore’s documentary on global warming - Inconvenient Truth - please do. It’s shockingly real and makes you want to try and find a home outside of earth real quick, if you aren’t already trying to reduce the effects.

 

it’s just tuesday…

…and already it’s been an eventful week.

1st George Allen goes and calls a TJ/UVA alumni a ‘makaka’. The blog world, along with the political, student and Indian-American community is up in arms.
That was completely unwarranted, surprising, and a cheap shot by someone in VA where the majority of the Asians are doing some pretty cool amazing things.
A video here

2nd -Indra Nooyi happens.

An absolute role model for all the young women out there. Awesome!

3rd - Washington Post ran an article on minorities topping 1 million in the DC area. We join the ther 7 metros in the US to have such a huge confluence of imigrants who make a difference. Another cap is that DC area immigrants are supposed to be the more educated and smarter as in earnings than any other metro.

“This is a significant benchmark,” said Audrey Singer, another Brookings demographer, referring to the census numbers from the 2005 American Community Survey. “It clearly demonstrates that Washington has emerged as an immigrant destination.”
The region’s immigrant population has more than doubled since 1990, and the overall population grew by about a quarter. Advocates for immigrants say that the survey undercounted the immigrant population and that actual numbers are even higher.”

  

[ive tried so hard to load a pics, am just jinxed with pics and google :( ]

update - Aug 17th - Thaks to metlin, I can post pics! Yayy!

4th - I-day.

Feels awesome being an Indian, and every time I hear our national anthem, I am all choked up. Legally, am not desi anymore, but then once a desi always a desi. You can take the desi outa desh, but not vice versa. My kids’s school had an international night and 2 girls played our anthem on the viola and violin. Every single desi soul rose and stood the entire presentation including the [non-desi]teachers and principal and other parents as a sign of respect. It was a wonderful feeling.

Janaganamana

Janaganamana video.

Vande Mataram brings in me stronger feelings.

[I am hopping mad rt now, as I lost a huge bit I wrote on I-day and my feelings on what it is to be a desi, and needless to say dear ol IE crashed! arghhhhhhhhhhhh :(( ]

5th - It’s janmashtami. I hope my friend’s made those thattais and cheedai, so I can eat the prasadam.

[I need to publish this before the whole thing crashes on me again!]